Lessons from Dad

My dad is 92 years old. Actually, he’s 92 and a half years old as I reminded him recently. “It’s been a long time since I counted half years”, he replied to me. I think we all stop counting our half year milestones once we hit double digits. It’s amazing how quickly we transition from wishing we were older to wishing we were younger. My dad has had some recent health challenges. At his age, life provides no shortage of challenges. But his long life has also brought plenty of acquired wisdom. On this Fathers’ Day, I wanted to share just a few lessons from dad that have managed to seep into my thick skull.

“Be Careful”

Of all the lessons from dad, this has been his prime directive over the years. Whenever we depart, the last thing he tells me is “be careful” (sometimes “be safe”). This is how he tells me good-bye, no matter if I’m just going home or leaving on a long journey. While seemingly a simple piece of guidance, there is an implicit expression of love and concern that he imparts each time we depart one another’s company. I’ve tried to live by this simple mantra…some periods of my life more successfully than at others. I tell my own children the same thing whenever we bid each other adieu.

If Something is Worth Doing, it is Worth Doing Well

My father was born during the depression. I believe living through those challenging times formed much of his outlook on life. His approach to work might be described as methodical. Whether it was working at his job or while accomplishing something around the house, he took his time to get things right. The old adage “measure twice, cut once” has typified his approach. Taking the time to get things right prevents wasted money and materials that cutting corners inevitably leads to. I sometimes have to fight my natural impatience by forcing this lesson to the forefront of my approach to work. “How would my father or my grandfather approach this task?”, is a question I’ve often thought about when I feel myself slipping into a “good enough” mentality.

Problems are Just Opportunities to Succeed

As I mentioned above, I can be impatient. Life’s many little problems often create ripples in “the plan” that cause me frustration. My dad seems to almost relish the appearance of these little problems. I know he doesn’t actually do so but it certainly sometimes seems as if he does. The only certain thing in life is that uncertainty provides us with a steady stream of things to overcome. My dad embraces this reality. I like to think of him as the OG MacGyver. Something break around the house? No problem as long as you have an old hose, some bailing wire, and a potato! His example serves as a reminder that things don’t always go to plan. Why not acknowledge this fact and get busy solving the problem instead of whining about it? I constantly strive (struggle, at times) to live this lesson.

Enjoy the Simple Things in Life

Ask my dad what his favorite sandwich is and I’ll bet you he still says “butter and radish”. Not something you’re likely to find at Subway let alone at a fancy gourmet deli. I have many fond memories of the camping trips we took when I was growing up. A walk through the woods was the point of the vacation. Visiting with family and friends over a meal or cup of coffee is his idea of a perfect day. Modern life provides us with so many ways in which we can spend (waste) our time. I believe many of us can become distracted by this aspect of today’s reality. My dad has always been a role model for slowing things down, enjoying what is right right in front of him.

Nothing is More Important than Family

Many people express the idea that family is the most important thing in life. Most of us really believe it. Nobody I’ve encountered in my life exemplifies this idea to the extent that my dad does. Of all the lessons from dad, this is the one I hope to measure up to…even fractionally. My entire life, I’ve heard stories of my father’s total commitment to helping family members. I myself have been witness to so many examples that they are actually uncountable.

My father has always struck an imposing figure. He can be intimidating at times, but beneath the stern exterior beats the heart of a genuinely caring and loving man. Modern men need to understand what my dad has known his whole life: that we can simultaneously be strong and caring.

Lessons from Dad

My father and I don’t agree on everything. What two people do? However, I believe my parents raised my brother, sister, and me to be independent, caring, and open-minded humans. There many not be a better achievement as parents than sending your children out into society armed with qualities such as these.

I’m not doing justice to all that my dad has taught me over the years. I only hope that I’ve captured some of the most important lessons he has passed on to me. I want him to know that I’ve been listening and observing what he says and, more importantly, what he does. I want him to know that I appreciate all that he has given to me. I want him to know that if I am a good father, it is largely because of the example he has set.

Maybe my dad will be the only one who reads this post. That would be just fine by me. If you’re reading this and your name isn’t Bob Reed, I hope today finds you in good company and with the opportunity to send the father(s) in your life love and appreciation!