Finding Purpose

For 27 years, work provided me with an inescapable sense of purpose. I was not only responsible for providing for my family, but also for adding value at whatever work I was doing. Regardless of our career, entrepreneurial endeavor, or side hustle, we all need to generate value in order to receive compensation. Through multiple roles and different jobs, creating value was what gave me purpose at work. It wasn’t always easy to figure out how to do this, but it was a straightforward reason for me to anchor on and keep working toward.

Value = perceived benefit – actual cost

Retirement shut off the need for me to create value at work like a light switch.  The week before I retired was still filled with meetings where my work mattered.  Where my knowledge and experience still added some value. My last day consisted of filling out a couple of final forms, exchanging personal email/phone numbers and saying last goodbyes.  Then it was all over.  I like to think I left a positive impact on those I worked with. But the reality is that everyone’s swamped and there isn’t much time to dwell on people who are no longer adding value to the work at hand.

I have zero hard feelings about this reality.  There were numerous times during my career when I was on the other side of the retirement equation. Great people I worked with left, and, after some brief good-byes, it was time to move forward. One day you’re on the raging river, paddling like hell to stay afloat and on course.  The next day you’re plucked from the rapids, set on the shore, handed a beer and a lawn chair and left to look around and wonder “now what do I do?”

Planning Beyond the Money

For the longest time, I assumed that preparing for retirement meant preparing to have enough money to achieve financial freedom and what some refer to as “time affluence”. My retirement planning energy and mindshare was fully put toward modeling savings, investments, expenditures, scenarios, etc.  To me, the eventual state of retirement and time affluence just seemed like an ideal place to exist. A future that didn’t require a lot of forethought. Afterall, who wouldn’t love boundless free time? 

It turns out things aren’t that easy.

Just last week I read an article that highlights the biggest challenge retirees face: finding purpose.  During my career, a lot of my identity was tied to the roles I played at work.  Most of the people I met and interacted with day-to-day knew me by those roles and within the context of the work we did together. Those people counted on me to provide direction, coaching, and results – in other words, I had purpose.  The day I retired, that purpose quite literally vanished.

It’s fair to say that the part of my retirement plan that focused on addressing a new sense of purpose was far looser than the financial part.  I had a few concrete ideas of how to spend my time (family activities, home and garden improvements, more reading).  I also had less developed ideas like writing a blog, writing a book, and learning to speak Spanish (well, 1 out of 3 so far isn’t bad).

Most days I feel like I’m spending my time productively.  Rarely does a day go by where I feel like I’ve utterly squandered it.  However, it’s safe to say that my post-retirement sense of purpose is still somewhat a work in progress.  For those who are thinking about retiring, I recommend spending time considering what your sense of purpose will look like when your career ends.  My belief is that this idea becomes more important the longer you think you’ll be retired.

Looking for Win-Win-Win Situations

During my career, I had hundreds of conversations about career development.  Some discussing my aspirations and path forward, many more with people who either worked for me or sought my mentorship.  One framework for these discussions that really resonated with me is the concept of looking for “win-win-win” situations.

The idea was to look for opportunities with a convergence of work that:

• you have a strong interest in
• you are good at
• your manager, company and/or industry finds valuable

I’m a sucker for models and diagrams that help make internal thoughts visible.  Career development conversations can quickly turn into circular references “so what do you want to do next? – “beats me, what should I do?” The model here is a simple Venn diagram that forces some not so simple questions to be asked and answered.  These conversations forced me and the other person to get honest about our intentions and clear on specific next steps we would take.  I found I was having meaningful talks about not only what I/they wanted to do next, but also what I/they didn’t want to do.

I mention this idea of seeking win-win-win opportunities because the above cited article introduced me to a concept that I hadn’t heard of before but reminds of the triple win convergence model. Ikigai (ee-key-guy) is a Japanese concept meaning “that which gives your life meaning or purpose”. 

Finding Purpose with Ikigai

I’m just starting to learn about this concept and how it may help me as I continue to develop my sense of purpose in retirement.  If you’re interested, Tim Tamashiro’s Ikigai Ted Talk is a good place to start. 

He frames the concept using this equation:

Ikigai = time affluence + your gifts + rewards

The more common way I found the concept framed is in a diagram that looks very similar to the win-win-win diagram I used in career development conversations.  In both cases, we’re looking for a convergence of aspects of ourselves and those of the world at large.  Getting clear on the internal portions of Ikigai (what I love & what I’m good at), seems like an excellent place to start.  The simple comparison of the two internal forces some honest consideration.  I’ve been thinking a lot about my writing in the context of these two parts of the diagram.  I definitely love writing but the jury’s still out as to whether I’m good at it.

The external aspects of the model also drive some hard thinking.  Does it matter beyond myself that I have things that I’m good at and love to do? Will the world (community) benefit from my writing?  Is there a possibility I might eventually get paid for writing?

Our idea of the “world” has never been more expansive than it is today.  Technology has given us access to people and opportunities that just weren’t available even 20 years ago.  It’s an incredible time to search for your Ikigai!

Being the model nerd that I am, let’s also note the following about the Ikigai diagram:

Finding Purpose is a Journey

I love to read fantasy novels (“First Law” books from Joe Abercrombie are my current favorites).  One common theme in these stories is the pursuit of one’s destiny.  Often, there is some incredible surprise (“wait, I’m actually the son of a powerful wizard?”) that reveals the protagonist’s true purpose.  It’s a theme I’ve noticed in movies, comics, and just about all media that tell stories.  Perhaps because I’ve been exposed to this idea so often, I sometimes expect my grand purpose in life to become suddenly apparent.  A bolt of inspiration or some such thing.

In reality, finding purpose in life is a journey.  Realistically there is no big reveal (my father is not a wizard as far as I know).  Retirement has been a huge step for me.  A large piece of my purpose and what I was all about remained at work when I left.  I’m excited to learn about Ikigai and other concepts that might be useful on my path to purpose.  But I’m no longer expecting the bolt of inspiration. Smaller pieces are coming together to reform my sense of purpose…and that’s just fine by me.  Enjoy the journey!